How does therapy work?

As you can imagine, the answer to this is as complex and unique as each client, each counsellor and each relationship between the two, but here are some of the basic theories that inspire my work.

Person Centred theory

Carl Rogers (1951), the father of Person Centred therapy (my core training), described how our self-concept (who we are) forms as a child. What a child values comes partly from what they experience (running feels good, for example) and partly from what is acceptable to their family (for example you will only be loveable if you are happy). These values are felt as if they were the child’s own experience.

As the child grows up, new experiences are allowed into their self-concept, or if they don’t fit with the self-concept (for example they feel angry with their parent for not listening to them or sad about being left out at school) they are denied or twisted into an attempt at something more acceptable.

Psychological disturbance (most commonly depression and anxiety) is made up of this denial or twisting of things a person is genuinely experiencing, because these experiences don’t fit into ‘who I am’ or ‘what is acceptable’. Psychological wellness occurs when a person’s self-concept roughly matches how they actually feel and experience the world. In therapy we work towards finding this balance.

Any situation which is inconsistent with the self-structure is likely to be perceived as a threat, but the therapeutic situation provides a safe setting in which all the client’s experiences can be examined, and the structure of the self becomes re-organised so as to assimilate these experiences.” (Rogers, 1951, p. 513).

In other words, our bodies feel threatened when what we feel/experience doesn’t fit with how we have grown to feel acceptable to ourselves and others. For example a child was raised with the value ‘boys don’t cry’ yet as an adult he has experiences that would create sadness and vulnerability, but he denies those feelings and ends up feeling threatened by them (anxiety) or has to turn down the volume on all his feelings in order to deny the ‘unacceptable’ ones and can no longer feel joy or interest (depression). Therapy offers a relationship in which everything the client experiences can be looked at together, and the self-concept can be re-shaped to allow the denied parts in. The client in my example can share his sadness with the therapist, come to understand it and accept it, and allow it to be part of him without shame. He won’t need to put so much energy into being someone he’s not and his depression or anxiety will start to fade.

This requires change though and change is rarely simple and can be frightening. You don’t need to do it alone.

emotion focused therapy

Emotion Focused Therapy is an empirically-supported humanistic treatment that views emotions as centrally important in human functioning and therapeutic change. EFT involves a therapeutic style that combines both following and guiding the client’s experiential process, emphasizing the importance of both relationship and intervention skills.

Emotions are connected to our most essential needs. They rapidly alert us to situations important to our well-being. They also prepare and guide us to take action towards meeting our needs. Individuals and couples benefit from therapy with the help of an empathically attuned relationship with their therapist, who seeks to help them to better identify, experience, explore, make sense of, transform, and more flexibly manage their emotions. As a result, persons receiving EFT treatment become stronger and are more skilful in accessing the important information and meanings about themselves and their world that emotions contain, and become more skilful in using that information to live vitally and adaptively.

More here

Counselling in Bingley, near Keighley, Shipley, Saltaire. Outdoor, creative therapy, focused on emotion, body symptoms and creating a plan for wellness. Counselling and psychotherapy for anxiety, depression, low mood, relationship issues, self-esteem, confidence, motivation, feeling lost, feeling stuck, boundaries, conflict, trauma and abuse, gender and sexuality issues, LGBTQ+, non-binary, sex-positive therapist.

Privacy Policy

Rachel Lackey Counselling & Therapy is committed to complying with the terms of the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) and to the responsible and secure use of your data. Rachel Lackey Counselling & Therapy has a legitimate interest in processing personal data to provide counselling services. The purpose of this statement is to let you know what personal information Rachel Lackey Counselling & Therapy collects and holds, why I collect this data, how long it is stored for and your rights over your personal data.

Information about you

  • I collect personal information from you when you enquire about our counselling services to set up an initial appointment. This information includes contact details, your availability and other relevant personal information. Once a client finishes counselling, all data regarding their counselling is stored securely for 7 years and then destroyed.

  • When you enquire about counselling I ask for contact details and relevant personal information from you that is needed to answer your enquiries and to keep you informed.

My use of this information

  • Your data will be used only to provide you with my services and to give you information relating to my services. I will not share your details with any other person or organisation without your knowledge and permission except for the exceptions stated in the counselling contract. A breach of confidentiality is when a person shares information with another in circumstances where it is reasonable to expect that the information will be kept confidential.

  • I will take all reasonable precautions to prevent the loss, misuse or alteration of information you give me.

  • Communications in connection with this service may be sent by email. For ease of use and compatibility, communications will not be sent in an encrypted form unless you require it and give me permission to communicate with you in that way. Email, unless encrypted, is not a fully secure means of communication. Whilst I endeavour to keep our systems and communications protected against viruses and other harmful effects, I cannot bear responsibility for all communications being virus-free.

Your rights over your personal data

  • If you would like to see the information I hold about you, or would like to correct, update or delete any records, please email me. If you have any concerns about my use of your data, please contact me directly. I will do my utmost to resolve any concerns you have. If for any reason I cannot resolve the issues you may choose to contact the ICO directly.